Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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