Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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