Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
