thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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