I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
