Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
