I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
