I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
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i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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