Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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