After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
