Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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