Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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