Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
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So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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