normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
