I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Rumble strips road head = magical
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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