And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
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You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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