? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
