Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
