I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
