But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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