: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
