So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Say something about gay babies.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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