How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
