He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I wish i was in the wii world.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
