Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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