I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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