shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
