Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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