Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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