you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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