Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
as a side note pls kill me
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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