i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
