He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
