hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
