Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It's Friday. Sex?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
