He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I can't put those talents on a resume
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
