what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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