Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
