If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
