drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
