another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
