my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
