He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm getting married
To pizza
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
How naked do you want me to be?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
