we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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