omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
