I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
