what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Threesome in a minivan. New low
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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