Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
