I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
