Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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