I could have mohawked her pubes.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize