I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
