I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
