I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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