you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
