just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
