So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
