Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
