Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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