He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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