Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
They took my balls.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
