You made me cry and you don't even care
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
