just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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