Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
